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Page 1 of 2 Below are some heartfelt words of appreciation that have been passed onto us from families that have had first hand experience of our wonderful Palliative Care Service. Please feel free to read these accounts. . . . .
The family of Maura Conneely would like to convey their deepest gratitude for the assistance and kindness of the Palliative Care Nurses who attended Maura until her death. Their skill and knowledge was of the highest standard but more importantly for us, they respected our mother's wishes and sought her consent in every aspect of her care. This was very important to her, as it allowed her to retain autonomy and dignity to the very end of her life. They enabled her to die at home, peacefully and with her family around her, which was her clear desire. The manner of her death is a great comfort to us who mourn her now. We wish her nurses every happiness and joy in their own lives and would like out heartfelt thanks to be passed on to the.
Kindest regards and best wishes
The Conneely Family
"I owe all of you so much for the way you helped me during my husband s illness. I will never ever forget how kind and thoughtful everyone was to my entire family" - Margaret, Charlestown/USA
Dear Cynthia
I am writing to express my sincere gratitude to the Roscommon Palliative Home Care Team for the care they gave to my father Patrick during his illness. Dad died on the 14th July. The care given by the team ensured that he was pain free and very comfortable for the month before he died.
The provision of the bed and ripple mattress cannot be understated and assisted us greatly in the provision of care for Dad. The team spoke highly of the way your organisation help them with supplies when required.
Please find enclosed donations received during the funeral to assist the invaluable work the Foundation is invloved in.
The involvement of the Palliative Care Nurses have given our family precious memories of the time leading up to his death. We hope that many other cancer sufferers and families will experience their expertise and witness the invaluable role they play.
Yours sincerely
Frances (Dublin)
Dear Sir/Madam
I wish to express my deepest gratitude to the members of the Palliative Care Team who looked after my father during his last days with us on this earth.
He died with dignity which is what my family mostly appreciated. The nurses managed with great skill to prepare us all on Dads passing and to accept this natural process. We are very grateful to them and wish them every good wish in the future.
Please accept our donation on behalf of my work colleagues for your continued sucess in supporting the sick and the dying.
Yours thankfully (name and address with-held)
In loving memory of my husband David Storey 30/12/1949 – 20/01/2006
It took a few moments for the reality to sink in. First there was just
silence.
It was a peaceful silence, a sacred silence – a split second of relief
before the pain hit and I realised that David was gone.
I had met my husband, David a good ten years earlier, when I came to
Ireland to learn English. To fall in love had not been part of the plan
but we both knew that we were meant to meet and to be together when we
met.
It took us a while to get settled. I had to give up my job and home in
Switzerland.David was starting out on a new career and moved from the
East to the West of Ireland.For the first few years we made our home in
Galway and moved to Westport in the summer of 2003. Everything started
to come together. We both loved the work we were doing; we realised one
of our many dreams and lived right beside the sea. Life was good.
It was a year and a few months later when I found myself in Castlebar
Hospital, listening to a junior doctor who made a little drawing of a
bowel with a tumour on a piece of paper. It did not dawn on me at the
time what he was trying to tell me. I did get a clear feeling of
seriousness. But I am a fairly positive person by nature and thought,
whatever this is all about surely we can deal with it and find a
solution as soon as my husband wakes up and we can talk about
everything.
That was the start of a journey that you all know too well. A journey
of hospitals, treatments, pain, medication, despair and sadness.
But for us it was also a journey of facing our biggest fears. It was a
deeply spiritual journey and a journey of healing and love. My biggest
fear was to lose David. His biggest fear was of doctors and hospitals.
We both had to face up to our fears.
As much as we knew that we were meant for each other when we met, we
also knew on a deeper level that David’s illness and his dying was part
of our journey too. It was part of a bigger plan. This belief, the
knowing that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves that
guides and protects us, and our deep love for each other carried us.
Together we found the strength to face the fast approaching death,
which included preparing David’s funeral. And as well as all the dark,
painful and very difficult moments we were also blessed with very deep
and wonderful moments full of love, happiness and laughter.
But nothing at all could prepare me for the pain I felt when David
finally died. From one moment to the next there was only pain. I felt
raw, vulnerable and everything was hurting. My whole world had
disappeared; everything had stopped the moment David had died. Now
there was just a big nothing, a vast emptiness and pain. It was very
important for me to be allowed to feel that pain, to feel the
emptiness. I was, and still am, hugely grateful to homeopathy – a
complementary Health System that treats body, mind and spirit. The
homeopathic remedies and my homeopath helped me to cope with the pain
without blocking it out altogether. I am also very thankful to my close
friends and family who supported me so much by just being with me,
holding the space for me to grieve without trying to take it away or
fix it.
Another huge support came from Margaret and all the Mayo Roscommon
Hospice Palliative Home Care team and the Palliative Care team at Mayo
General Hospital, both during David’s illness and after his death. I
remember many days when the only thing that got me through the day was
the knowing that at some stage during the day one of you would call.
You listened and understood what was going on for us; you shared the
burden and reassured us. It was such comfort to know that you were
always only a phone call away. I would once again like to say thank you
for all your help and loving support.It was David’s biggest wish to die
at home and you made it possible for him. Thank you.
For the first hours, days and weeks after David’s death it was like
learning to walk again. Every step took full concentration, the stomach
was filled with anxiety and I knew however difficult it was, the only
way was forward.
The days passed without joy or excitement, everything was in black and
white, no sound, no colour. The journey seemed impossible, lonely and
immense.
There was nothing but emptiness and pain inside me and around me. It
was always there; going to bed, waking up, going out and coming home.
It followed me around wherever I went. It was part of me and my life
and I realised then that it would always be. Nearly three years after
David’s death the pain is still there and always will be but my world
has grown around the ball of pain.
Grieving is hard work. It’s exhausting. It takes all your time and your
energy. And every “first time” is difficult. I remember how painful the
first spring was, the first trip into town, the first time on the train
to Dublin or on the plane to Switzerland, not to mention the first
Christmas or New Year. But each and every one of these steps was hugely
important.
It helped me to stay fully in the moment, not to plan ahead or worry
about the next day, next year. Just deal with one moment at a time.
It helped me to talk about it, to talk about David, about cancer, about
death, and I was grateful for everybody that listened and asked
questions. I also found it helpful to read books about grieving, read
about other people who had the same experience.
Slowly I had to re discover joy and re discover the beautiful things
in life that we once shared together, this time on my own.
It was painful to look at my life that was shattered and in bits. I
knew it would never be the same again. I could not just stick the bits
together and carry on. Death means change and it was a matter of slowly
accepting that change. I had to look at all the shattered bits and
decide with each one of them if it’s time to let it go or to make it my
own in my new life.
All the while I felt I was held and guided by the Divine and comforted
and supported by the love we had shared. I felt David’s presence with
me and was comforted by the knowing that we will always be connected
and his spirit will always be there with me. I am also certain that he
is very happy and I know that he would like me to be happy too.
I cherish his memory and have many rituals and little things that we
shared that I still do and enjoy in his memory – moments where I feel
very close to him.
But I also have new things in my life: new places I discovered, new
friends I made, new hobbies and past times that are part of my life
now. All of this has helped my world to grow around the ball of pain.
It has helped me to start living again.
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Words of Appreciation